Transformers

Paramount Pictures

For the ReelFan, it’s been a long summer without enough movies. Oh, there have been plenty of films in theaters, just too much summer traveling to find time to see them. Recently I was in Chicago and from my hotel window, just past the river and peeking out from behind a skyscraper, I could see a building with the AMC logo on it. I imagined myself creating a credible pretense and strolling over there, then dashing in to catch whatever was playing. I was willing to see anything. I would have gone to Final Destination 5.

Which might have been a better choice than Transformers; I saw the latest installment of the blockbuster fighting robot franchise at a strange little theater in Saratoga Springs, New York. It was part of one of those giant, sprawling retail complexes where you can drive for hours through adjacent parking lots, trying to make sense of conflicting signposts that claim to be leading you to wherever you thought you were going. Which is a little bit like Transformers: the movie is a muddled mess of confusing parts that are vaguely connected, and you keep hoping there will be some sort of cinematic signpost that leads you to a logical conclusion. There aren’t though, any signposts or logic; instead the film has lots of crashing explosions and battles between robots that look so alike you can’t tell which one to root for. Or why they’re fighting, for that matter – I think the future of humanity was on the line. I’m not sure.

Shia LaBeouf was cool, though. Such an everyman, this guy, but he has a little swagger, a way of squaring his shoulders and striding into robot battle that makes you believe he can be a badass. He’s fun to watch, and that worked for me, but I don’t recommend anyone see this movie. No reason to go.  C

Movie review: Thor

Paramount Pictures

You knew summer blockbuster season had arrived when Thor ripped through the May box office and a new superhero franchise was born. Played with charm, humor and bravado by Chris Hemsworth, Thor is a godlike hero based on Norse legends; he comes from Asgard, a mythical dreamy place where his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) runs the show and Thor is the presumed heir apparent. Only, he’s a little excitable, so when Asgard is threatened by an old enemy he decides to go to war himself, instead of waiting for his father to pursue patient efforts at diplomacy. He gathers up his friends and they set off to wage glorious battle, but soon realize they’re badly outnumbered and Odin has to rush to their rescue. This escapade makes the old man pretty mad, so he strips Thor of all his powers and banishes him to earth.

And then he meets Natalie Portman.

C’mon, people, it’s a comic book movie. It only stands to reason that Thor will fall out of the sky and land right in the path of a beautiful, brainy scientist. Jane Foster feels responsible for the fallen hero because he bounced off her car when he plummeted to earth, and then – in one of the film’s funniest scenes – her assistant, Darcy (Kat Dennings) tases him when he starts ranting on about Earth and Asgard. (“What! He was freaking me out!”). And so the adventure begins, with Thor trying to find his way home, and Jane trying to help him while she tries to understand who he is.

There’s a lot of great comic book style action in Thor, especially on Asgard, but the real fun happens when the young superhero attempts to navigate his way around Earth; even without his powers, he is quicker and stronger than the “puny” humans who surround him, and there is a charming buffoon quality to his efforts to understand propriety in this tiny Western town. He also eats a lot. Thor figures he’ll be in good shape if he can just get his mystical hammer back, but Odin has thrown it to Earth protected by a Camelot style curse: only someone worthy will be able to wield it. In other words, Thor has to learn his lesson; which he does, eventually, but not before he tangles with a shadowy government group that has taken an interest in him and his hammer (they can’t wield it, of course, bureaucrats aren’t worthy). He also has to manage a duplicitous younger brother who perceives Thor’s banishment a grand opportunity to pursue his own ambitions. (Tom Hiddleston plays brother Loki with slick creepiness; you recoil from him but you can’t wait for him to come back on screen.)

If you think summer blockbuster movies are a silly waste of time, this one will not change your mind. It doesn’t stretch the boundaries of the genre, it sits squarely within them. But it’s fun, lighthearted, popcorn stuff, and if you’re in the mood for that well, hit the multiplex. It scored big at the box office so it will probably survive the onslaught of the new Pirates movie on Friday. Playing everywhere. B